three weeks until surgery

We have less than three weeks until the big surgery...and suprisingly, I am getting less nervous as it gets closer. I'm sure that will all change once we are days out from the surgery, but for now, I'll enjoy this. If I do start to think about it, I repeat the verse from Matthew 6:34 -

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

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Wes has an MRI next week, but other than that, not much until the big day. The MRI is being used to determine the exact make-up of Wesley's chest (mainly how much esophagus he has). We pretty much know that he has next to none, but our knowledge will be "official." The doctors will be able to see where his esophagus should connect to his stomach since he has no esophagus from his stomach up. From the top down, he pretty much only has the amount from the back of his mouth to the spit fistula on his neck. I cannot tell you how happy I will be to not have to deal with the spit fistula!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot even find words to describe my excitement :)

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We have decided not to travel to Minnesota to meet with the doctor there. It was a difficult decision, but Damon and I think it is for the best. The doctor is not practicing much anymore, so it wouldn't be him doing the surgery, it would be someone he trained. From what I read from other families using the trained doctors, their success rate was not nearly what the original doctor's was. I also have to be honest, being away from home for at least another 2.5+ months did not look good to us.

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Damon and I are happy to report that we are debt-free except for our home!!! We paid off the last of my school loans, and now we are onto baby step three: saving 3-6 months salary. Here are the steps from Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University:

1 - save $1000 to start an emergency fund

2 - pay off all your debt (except for your home) through the debt snowball

3 - save 3-6 months living expenses in an emergency fund

4 - invest 15% of your income in a Roth IRA and a pre-tax retirement fund

5 - college funding for children

6 - pay off your home early

7 - build wealth and give

If you are interested in taking the class for yourself (I highly recommend it), check out http://www.daveramsey.com

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Prayer requests:

- Dr. Lim (Wesley's surgeon) and the other doctors and nurses at the hospital

- my parents - they've been having some tough times, but they are persevering!

- my mother-in-law - she fell and broke her wrist

- me - I've come down with a horrible cold! Thankfully I have time to get over it before the surgery because my visiting the hospital would be restricted.

- our Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University classmates - so many of them have had very tough times financially, but through this class, things are dramatically improving.

I'll leave you with a few pictures.

- Staci

"playing" golf in the backyard

giggling after being tickled on the bed

Mom wears such great necklaces

we saw an airplane fly overhead, so Wes told me about it (probably a million times)

March 2009 - the swings in the park

November 2008 - look how tiny he was!!

some of the many faces of Wesley...

I don't know that I've ever seen a more expressive child I am not sure what this look says...

I love the raised eyebrow!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

in celebration of 6 months as a family

For your viewing pleasure, I have finally uploaded a few videos. None of which are birthday shots yet, but those will come soon enough. The photo above shows you how sweaty Wes was when I finally got him to come inside after playing in the backyard (videos below). I have never seen a child sweat like he does!! If you listen closely on some of the videos, you can hear Wesley talking or just saying "hi" at random times.

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Today marks the 6 month anniversary of Wes becoming an American citizen. When we were still in Ukraine, I remember thinking how happy I would be once I'd been home for a while, and I was right! It's great to have Wesley home and getting healthier by the day.

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This is a short post because these videos take FOREVER to upload!! Have a great weekend!

almost 6 months home

I can hardly believe it's been almost a month since I last posted! We haven't been up to much - just getting ready for the big surgery. I found out about a doctor in Minneapolis who has invented a procedure that could possibly stretch Wesley's native esophagus from his neck to his stomach. This would prevent the use of some part of his large intestine. We would prefer that Wes didn't have to recover from two large incisions, and the future complications that go along with that. Both types of surgery have positive and negative aspects to them, so it's tough to figure out.

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Please pray for us as we wade through the information and determine the best course of action. At this point though, the surgery is still on for April 17th.

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On a lighter note, the weather here in Ohio has been beautiful! I was at home yesterday, so I took Wes to the park to swing. He enjoyed it, but the wind got to him after a bit. While the weather was in the 60s, the wind was quite strong. I'm not sure if it's an orphanage thing or not, but Wes does not enjoy strong wind in his face. Well - no one really does, but it seems to bother him more than I would think. He is more comfortable with it than we we first got home, so maybe it's just not something he had experienced before.

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Since we've been home almost six months, it is hard to believe Wesley's progress!! He has grown over 4" in height and put on 13 pounds (he's now up to 30 pounds)! The little boy who was in the 1st and 2nd percentiles for height and weight is now in the 35th percentile for height and the 60th percentile for weight!! I just realized looking at his hands yesterday that they are starting to look more like adult hands. His fingers are longer and thinning out, which is good because for a while they were about as fat as they were long!

Wesley is also talking up a storm - not bad for a kid who only said one or two words six months ago. For quite a while he's been babbling nonstop, but now I can usually make out some of what he's saying. Sometimes it still doesn't make sense, but he laughs, so I think he's trying to be silly. I just laugh, so then he does it again. Wesley is using his new found speech skills to point things out to me constantly like "Mommy, dog" or "Mommy, meow" but the favorite is "Mommy, ball." The kid can notice any sort of sports ball from a mile away!! Looks like we might have an athlete on our hands.

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Damon and I have been taking Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace University" class at a local church. What a great class!! We've have traditionally spent and saved our money wisely, but I was looking to take the class to encourage us to be more intentional about how we spend and save. So far it has been great. We are about to pay off my master's degree loans, then our home is the only debt we have. I have been so encouraged to hear of others in the class paying off thousands of dollars in credit card debt in the few weeks we've had class so far! I encourage everyone to check it out - according to the website, the average family pays off $5300 in debt while saving $2700 in the course of the class (13 weeks). That is over $615 a week. http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu/home I'll let you know how we did at the end of the class, but so far, so good.

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I promise to post pictures and videos this weekend. I've been trying to cut the birthday video enough to fit here, but no luck so far. It will probably have to be three separate videos you watch in sequence, but we'll see what I can do.

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It's finally Friday - have a great weekend!!

Staci

Happy 2nd Birthday, Wesley!! (and other exciting news)

Wesley turned two on Thursday, so we had a birthday party with the Grandparents this afternoon. He still isn't into opening gifts, but I am sure by next year he'll enjoy it more. Wes loved the tickle me Cookie Monster Damon and I got him. We let Wes have his own cupcake, but he only had a few bites of icing. He spent a lot of time stabbing it with a fork though.

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As Wes and I were going grocery shopping on Thursday, I got a call on my cell phone from Cincinnati Children's. The call was from Wesley's surgeon's scheduler. She asked me if I could call and move up the MRI scheduled in mid-April to the first week of April. Before I said I would call and change it, she said that the surgeon wanted to meet with us the second week of April, then his surgery would be on the 17th. It took me a second to catch my thoughts, and all I could say was "the surgery on his esophagus?" The scheduler said "yes," and I know she was wondering if I was an airhead. Apparently the surgeon decided that we didn't have to wait until later in the year for Wesley's repair surgery!!
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Of course I was in complete shock after the phone call! We don't know at this point why the surgeon decided to move up the surgery, but he is supposed to call Damon. I wonder if is because we told the surgeon that we had already been working on teaching Wes to eat, so he thought - why wait? I'm curious to find out the reason though.

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It's taken me a while, but I've come to grips with the change again. So we have two months until NO MORE SPIT OUT WESLEY"S NECK!! I am not excited about Wesley having to go through a very difficult and complicated surgery, but I am excited for what his life will be like after the surgery. It will be a difficult few months after the surgery, but we'll make it.

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Please pray for us as we prepare for the surgery with work schedules, teaching Wesley to eat by mouth, Wesley's health before and after surgery.

a family picture (amazing - we are actually all smiling!)

blowing out the birthday candles (Grandma had to hold his hands back so he didn't touch the candles)

digging into the cake with his fork

the cake though - not so much

wiping the cupcake on his face

riding in his new wagon with his sock monkey

thank you!

Thank you everyone for your prayers and words of encouragement! I am feeling much more positive about the surgery change now. The more time I had to think about it, the more I realized that the fall might even be a better time than the spring. If the surgery were to be in late spring/summer, then how would I keep a two year-old down and resting instead of running around outside and playing?? In the fall/winter we stay home more than the summer, so it gives us time to rest and work on feeding by mouth. Damon and I are also desperate to go on a vacation (Ukraine was NOT a vacation by any means), so we'll have time to do that.
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Another consideration is that Damon and I will be able to use another 12 weeks of FMLA leave (Family Medical Leave Act) after mid-July. Damon used all of his time and I used almost all of my time with the adoption, so we can be sure that we have the time to spend with Wes after surgery and at home without rushing back to work.

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A later surgery date also gives us time to prepare - with our jobs and also with teaching Wesley to eat. The doctor thinks that the better he can eat before surgery, the less transition there will be after.

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So thank you to everyone who said a prayer for us! My attitude about the whole thing has been changed, and I am content now going with the flow. I know that God has everything planned out, and I am trusting Him.

feeling discouraged

I am just feeling very discouraged right now. We went to Cincinnati Children's Hospital late this afternoon for an appointment with the surgeon who will repair Wesley's esophagus. (Side note: since we had the last appointment of the day, we were able to spend a lot more time with the doctor - almost 45 minutes) Anyway...the doctor wants to do a MRI in early April and possibly a scope to determine how much esophagus Wesley has from the top down. Wes has nothing from the stomach up, so it's not likely there will be much from the top down. The doctor told us that he isn't sure that Wesley will be a good candidate for the stomach pull-up surgery. The other option (which may have more complications) is to use a section of Wesley's colon as his esophagus

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The doctor also wants us to continue to work with Wesley on eating. He thinks that after surgery the transition to eating only by mouth will be much faster if he's already used to eating. I was just hoping that Wesley would love to eat so much that he just picked it up...I know how important this is, but it is just such a hassle. To do it, I have to take off most of his clothes and get out at least five towels and washcloths. After he eats about two ounces (which takes at least 20 minutes, usually more like 30), he HAS to get in the bath (which takes at least another 20 minutes since he now loves the bathtub). I do know that the more Wesley can eat now, the better off he'll be after surgery.

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The delay of the surgery is hitting me a lot harder than I thought it would. It's just that Damon and I absolutely love to eat, and we want Wes to learn to like it as well. It's just so frustrating to go out to eat (which we do more than we probably should), and tell the wait staff "no thanks, he's already eaten" or that he'll have some of ours (and he doesn't). I know most of them think we are crazy. They probably think "hey lady, your kid wouldn't be so small if you let him eat at dinner."

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Please just pray for us (especially me) because I am taking this hard. I know that everything will happen in God's perfect timing, but to be honest, I like when my timing and God's are the same. Thank you for your support and prayers!!!!

Staci

Super Bowl Sunday

I love this picture - Wes looks like he's deep in thought. (He was actually watching a truck plow the parking lot)
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We're home from our Super Bowl party, so we're watching it at home (GO CARDINALS!!). I guess that's how it works with a two year-old! Wes started to melt down, so we decided to pack it up before it became a full-flown mess. He doesn't seem to get cranky when he's with us and he gets tired, but when he is around other children, he turns into a whiny mess. Not sure why...

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We survived the big snow here last week (probably only 8" or so, but the ice underneath the snow was the problem). Wes was supposed to have an appointment on Wednesday with the surgeon, but the hospital called and canceled it. We had already left to head to Cincinnati (almost three hours early), but they called us about 30 minutes after we left home (we were less than 10 miles from home). Our appointment has been rescheduled to this Wednesday, so hopefully we'll know more then. Here is what the roads looked like on Wednesday about 11am. This is actually a fairly heavily-traveled road...

I see that our poll on where we should adopt from next has closed. It looks like the winner is Ukraine or another Eastern European country with 55% of the vote. The runners-up were the United States at 31%, Asia at 11%, Africa at 10%, and South America at 5%. We actually haven't decided yet, but it is something we're talking about. I'll post when we've made a decision - please pray for us about this. It's such a big decision, and we don't take it lightly.

Wes hanging out watching "Super Why." His new thing is always putting his hands in his pockets like he's cool. Wesley showing me his sock monkey Wes and Daddy at dinner Friday night Katie with my scarf on. I put it on her because it just came out of the dryer, and she LOVES to be wrapped up in things that are warm.

Friday night I cleaned out pantry. I have actually never taken everything out and cleaned it! When we moved in, my Mom and friends put things away for us, so I had never had the chance to get it organized like I wanted. Now I know what food I actually have!!

underestimating Wesley

This morning Wesley and I took Katie to the vet to have her teeth cleaned and a fatty tumor removed from above her hip. I was a little worried about how Wes would behave at the vet - I knew he would love the dogs, but I thought he might be tough to handle with Katie. When we arrived at the vet, the office was not open, so we just stood in the waiting room until the nurse came out to get Katie. When she came out, I let Wes kiss Katie and tell her good-bye. I took his hand and tried to steer him toward the door, but he stood there watching Katie walk down the hall toward the back of the building. I held onto his hand a little tighter because I was worried he would run after her. He didn't do that, but he started pointing down the hall and saying "Katie, Katie, KAY-TEE!" I told him that we would be back to get her after he woke up from his nap. I picked him up and carried him to the car. My heart was breaking because Wes just kept saying her name again and again. I didn't think that Wes would "get" leaving Katie, but apparently he did!

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I called the vet during Wesley's nap today, and they said I could pick her up after 3:00p. The one day that I want Wesley to wake up early from his nap - he decides to sleep an extra hour! That gave me extra time to work from home, but I was SO ready to pick up Katie. As soon as Wes woke up, I told him that we were going to get him ready and go to pick up Katie. He was instantly awake and ready to go. The whole ride to the vet, he just kept saying her name and also calling her "Key" (our nickname for Katie). I've never heard him use the nickname until today.

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Katie is doing well - she's lying next to me asleep, snoring loudly. The trouble is going to be keeping her from playing rough with Duke until her stitches come out...

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The point of my story is - don't underestimate the intelligence of an almost two year-old and his love for a dog!

Katie with her Elizabethan collar (aka "lampshade")

Katie's stitches (can you believe they shaved so much of her hair?!)

social security office, new phrases, and pictures

We have been doing well - staying busy as always. I finally went to the Social Security office and applied for Wesley's social security number. I made an appointment because I thought that would be faster than just showing up at the office. I went to the office in person so I wouldn't have to mail away all my original documents. Turns out that the appointment was not any faster because I was still at the office for over an hour and a half! The woman at the office hardly looked at any other documents beside the Certificate of Citizenship and Wesley's Ukrainian passport. We received his number in less than 10 days. Most people have to apply for the number as soon as they return to the US for medical insurance, but our insurance did not require his social to cover him, so I just hadn't gotten around to it yet. I did want to get it though before we did our taxes - I am looking forward to seeing how low our tax bill is this year :) I'll update as soon as we do our taxes.

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Wesley is picking up new words and phrases every day. His favorite this week is "no, no, no." He has gotten the phrase from me, and he uses it whenever he hears me say it (which is quite often) or when he starts to do something he shouldn't. It does make it easy for me to know when he is doing something he shouldn't and he is out of my sight.

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Damon and I haven't made any decisions regarding our second adoption except that we would like to get a girl this time. I am not sure why, but the country for our second adoption is proving to be a much tougher decision than the choice of Ukraine for our adoption of Wesley. I think the reason has something to do with the fact that we have a better idea how "things work" in the adoption process. We aren't as naive as we were the first time. I am asking a lot more questions, where I took people at their word the first time. We know about dishonesty, bribery, and the amazing amount of uncertainty involved. I don't want to let my questioning though get in the way of doing what God has for us.

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Wesley has his post-op visit with urology on Monday. Then on Wednesday we have an appointment with the surgeon who will repair Wesley's esophagus. Damon and I are hoping that the doctor schedules the surgery at that appointment, but I am trying not to get my hopes up. I am SO READY to get rid of the spit fistula on Wesley's neck!! He is constantly wet and it is just a lot to manage. I can handle the idea that it will take a while for Wesley to eat enough food to sustain him without feeding through the g-tube, but to not have him soaking wet all the time...it makes me smile thinking about it :)

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Tomorrow is the inauguration of President Obama. Please pray for him and the decisions he will make that will affect our lives and the lives of our children.

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Have a great week!! I've posted lots of pictures for your enjoyment! The many faces of Wesley...

practicing eating baby food

we've been working on eating a lot more (can you see the excitement in his face? I also like the dogs watching in the background)


Wes has figured out how to drink out of a straw, and he doesn't want to stop!

Here's a comparison picture from two days ago (on the left) and the first full day home (on the right). You can see that Wes has grown at least three inches (look at the diamonds on the glass)!!

talking to Grandma on the phone

apparently unhappy about something... probably the girly hat his mom was making him wear

playing in a plastic tub

riding up to northern Ohio for a late Christmas celebration

This is the face Wes gives me when he wants me to stop taking his picture.

opening a gift

talking to a stuffed moose

Wes giving his Aunt Donna a kiss (I love this picture!!)

Wes is still doing well

Wesley is absolutely back to his normal self! He is climbing all over everything and apparently he isn't hurting at all! He still has stitches and those don't come out for about two more weeks, so I'm still working on keeping him down (or at least contained). Not exactly very easy...

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Wesley was 27 pounds the morning of his surgery and over 32" tall. That means that he has gained over 10 pounds and almost 3" in four months. I can only imagine how big he'll be after a year home!

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I scheduled the follow-up appointment with the surgeon that will repair Wesley's esophagus for January 28th. I am hoping that we will get the surgery scheduled. But then again it makes me scared to think that the surgery would be scheduled (if that makes any sense). The esophagus surgery is so much more serious than the man surgery. I know that Wes will be in God's hands though and He already knows the outcome.

I love the look of intense concentration. Wes has been mad because he hasn't been allowed to sit in the bath since surgery. Wesley and Duke watching the birds outside.

Katie just resting on my legs.

post-surgery update (all went well)

First I would like to say that I am sorry I wasn't able to post yesterday! When we got home and he was resting, I was going to post, but our internet didn't work. Then we found out that our home phone didn't work. It was just repaired, so here I am. Apparently a neighbor had their phone line worked on, and when the worker shut the box, it cut our phone line.

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The surgery yesterday started at about 7:40a, and we were called back to talk to the doctor at about 10:15a. He said that all went well and we would be able to see Wes pretty soon after. We were taken to see him right after the doctor consultation, and boy was he mad!! The nurse was trying to hold him and he kept arching his back and straightening his arms and legs. When he does that, he is nearly impossible to hold. She handed him to me and I spent the next three hours trying to keep him on my lap. He wanted down, he wanted the tubes disconnected, he wanted the hospital clothes off. The reason we were in recovery so long is because Wesley's oxygen level wouldn't stay up on its own, so he was on oxygen. As soon as we gave him some Pedialyte, he was at his before-surgery level, so we could go home. He was probably dehydrated.

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Wes slept most of the day yesterday and he slept all night last night. We had to feed him and give him pain medicine, but he hardly even stirred for that. He did get mad and scream when we had to put Vaseline on the incisions. I underestimated how tough that would be!! I am not one who likes touching stitches and wounds, and then to have to touch your son's as he SCREAMS in pain!! Yikes!! I can't tell him that it hurts me as much as it hurts him because I am sure it doesn't, but it does hurt me a little.

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We have a better idea what to expect after the next surgery (the BIG one), but the esophagus surgery is so much more difficult. Once Wes is recovered from this surgery, the second surgery will be scheduled. This will be at least three months, probably longer with scheduling difficulties.

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Thank you so much for your prayers and support!!! Here's a picture of Wes on the car ride home. He would not let me take the water bottle away, even when he fell asleep!!

post-Christmas update and adoption #2

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas full of family, friends, and togetherness. We had a great Christmas - hard to believe that it is already over!! Wesley was too young to really "get" Christmas, Santa, and presents. I am sure by next year he'll be excited. My parents got us a Flip video recorder, so I'll be able to post more videos in 2009!! (I am having trouble right now though because the computer is working too slow, so I'll upload later)

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We've been home for three and a half months now, and attachment is going well. One thing that we were told before traveling had to do with us attaching to the child. So much time and effort is spent on the child attaching to the parents, but you also have to think about yourself attaching to the child. Now before our adoption classes at Cincinnati Children's, I figured that I would just meet this child and fall in love and we'd live happily ever after (you know the fairy tale). Now I knew that is not what the books all said would happen, but I thought it would for me. But at the class, therapist Deborah Joy told us to think about how we make close friends. Do we get close to friends as soon as we meet them, or does it take time to form close friendships? Personally, it takes me quite a while to become close with someone and to share personal information. So I realized that when we met our son, I may not fall in love instantly. It was sad to think that, but I had to be honest with myself. (Note to adopting families: do not beat yourself up if it's not love at first sight! I don't even think love at first sight is even love - unless it's a cute pair of shoes or a great purse because that can be love!! But seriously, a child is something entirely different)

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I am so happy to have been prepared for my attachment to Wesley taking a while. Now when we were visiting him at the orphanage, I knew he was meant to be our child, but I didn't get a rush of love for him or anything. I loved him because he was a sweet, innocent child, but I hadn't fallen in love with him. Now I don't mean for this to sound cruel or mean, but it was tough to like a child who didn't want anything to do with me! When we picked him up in late August, I began to like him more each day. And now that we're home, I love him. I feel that we are now securely attached. He looks to me (or Damon) for comfort when he's upset, and he calms down when I hold his hand or hold him.

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Wesley seemed pretty attached to us when we picked him up form the orphanage, but I can tell that he is even more attached to us now. He is more spontaneous with his affection, sometimes I cannot get him to stop hugging and kissing me. (I know - what a tough problem to have :) He is even starting to say "love you" when we tell him we love him.

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We are currently also looking into countries for our second adoption. I know people will say it is too soon after the first adoption and with Wesley's medical condition we should wait, but I really just feel like we are being called to start right now. The process will take at least a year, so Wesley will have had his esophagus repair surgery long before we add another child into our family. We are not sure at this point what country from which we will adopt, but several countries are being considered. A couple that are forefront in my mind right now are Nepal and India.

Prayer requests

- Wesley as he has his "man surgery" on Monday. It is outpatient, but the doctor said it could last four to six hours...I'll update as soon as I can once it is over

- Damon and I as we try to narrow down our choices for our second adoption (I forgot how overwhelming the process can be at the start)

- we are hoping to stay "illness free" this winter, especially with the upcoming surgery

Have a Happy New Year!!!

smiling in the bathtub (I can hardly get him out of the bath now! It's a big change from the first bath we gave him where he screamed like we were trying to murder him)

Duke was thinking about joining Wesley in the bath (thankfully he didn't)

Wes was unsure about his new horse on Christmas morning. He now pets it every time he walks by it in the house.

tearing open a gift from Uncle Scott and Emily (I love the tongue sticking out)

This is Wesley taunting my brother's dog Marlow with a plastic string from a toy. Finally Marlow gets tired of it and pulls Wesley down by the arm of his sweater - too funny!!

Merry Christmas

We are looking forward to our first Christmas as a family. It's hard to believe that we've been home from Ukraine for over three months! In some ways I feel like I was just there, and in others, it feels like years ago. Wesley has gained 8 pounds (almost 50% of his body weight) and had grown about 2"! From what I can figure, he's in about the 15th percentile now - much more than the 2nd percentile a few months ago. He is talking almost constantly, and I am starting to understand words here and there in the babble so I know what he is talking about. He is much more affectionate with us than when we first brought him home. He also loves to give our friend's children hugs as well. That is fine, but I am sure the other kids get annoyed because he wants to hug them a lot!

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I cannot get over how much his personality has changed. When we visited Wesley in the orphanage, he was a quiet boy who played most by himself in one spot. I can assure you - he is no longer that child!! He is definitely a boy who loves to be loud and run around. Sometimes he just yells out to hear himself. We're working on that, but I think it's just the age. I am so happy to see that he is a typical tw0 year-old!!

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Please pray that we can all stay well through this Christmas and New Year's as Wesley has "man surgery" on January 5th, and this has been scheduled for months. Once that surgery is over, we can schedule the bigger surgery for his esophagus repair (YAY!!). I don't have the words to tell you how ready I am for that surgery. I can handle the tube feedings just fine, it's the neck fistula that is wearing on me. The poor child is constantly wet because all his saliva and drainage comes out the hole in his neck. And this may be TMI (too much information), but Wesley has sinus issues, so it is not exactly a pleasant odor. We change the wrap on his neck often, but as soon as you change it, he is wet again. But anyway...

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I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! We are spending this year as the thankful parents of two year-old!!

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I'll leave you with a few recent pictures