We are not going to Moldova...probably ever

So I guess the title of this post is not what you were expecting to read (or maybe it was, I probably have never met you & don't know you that well)...we are no longer in the Moldova adoption program, but never fear - we are still adopting! 

After MUCH prayer and thought, we have decided to pursue a China Waiting Child (special needs) adoption. We have been in the process for Moldova for almost three years, and I honestly feel like we are no closer to our daughter now than we were a year or even two years ago. I've felt that way for a while (like a long while), but I couldn't admit it to myself, let alone anyone else. I felt like I was giving up our dream of adopting, but that wasn't it at all. 

To go back in the day with you for a second, in 2006 when Damon and I were first looking at countries for our first adoption, I was 27 years old. I desperately wanted to adopt from China, but to adopt from there, you have to be 30 years old. Now the anxious person I am wasn't going to wait three years to even register a dossier, then begin the lifetime wait for a child. Good thing too because with the insanely long wait for China, we still wouldn't have a child. No joke. And because 2006 was a while ago, I am now old enough to adopt from China. Getting older does have some advantages. 

Special needs adoption, again? It's funny how the longer an adoption takes, the more God softens your heart for children with special needs - at least He has with us. After dealing with Wesley's SIGNIFICANT medical issues, we pretty much said we wanted a "perfect" child this time around. I wasn't kidding either. And just like with Wesley, the longer the adoption took, the more my heart and mind got in line with God's. What do you know? Maybe we're getting to the reason why this adoption is taking so long...

It's been a very emotional journey so far and I am sure the emotional roller coaster isn't over yet, but for the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful. And hope is a necessary part of the adoption process - believe me! 

Thank you so much for your prayers, even though I've been sorta absent in the blogging world. I intend to do a little recap for you of 2012 because I really have taken some great photos of Wesley this year. That kid is getting so big! 

Happy New Year!