the hard truth about our "non-eater"

I don't talk about this much, but Damon and I are really struggling with Wesley's eating (or lack thereof). I'm not sure how to explain the stress (serious understatement) we feel to someone to who hasn't experienced it with their own child. It's even hard for me to comprehend (and I live it every day) because I love eating and the whole experience of eating! It baffles me to try to imagine not enjoying food or the time spent eating with friends and family.

I find myself struggling to enjoy spending time with him due to the thought of a future battle to make him eat or the stress lingering from a past battle. It sounds crazy to type, but in all reality, his eating will often consume my thoughts. But at the same time, I'm numb to it. It doesn't phase me when Wesley makes the most horrible gagging sound at a restaurant, even if it's loud enough to hear three tables over (and yes, others look at you like you are a horrible parent for letting your child choke like that when you don't freak out).

If you do a google search on "a child who refuses to eat," here's the advice you get "wait until he gets hungry enough to eat. Children won't starve themselves." Um, yes they will. We aren't dealing with a picky child in terms of what foods he likes or doesn't like. In all honesty, there aren't many foods that Wes dislikes. I realize how strange that sounds because I'm talking about a child who doesn't eat. I'm not sure his dislike stems from the food so much, but more the act of eating the food. We have tried to make dinner time fun and enjoyable, but somehow it always comes down to us putting the food in his mouth or telling him he can't get up until his food is gone. No longer fun or enjoyable for any of us.

Damon and I have been talking, and we think he might need to go back to feeding therapy. I used to take him once a week, but it was horrible. He would show off and throw food and just misbehave in ANY way possible. I have to say, those were some of the longest hours of my life. I would have difficulty driving home because I was sobbing so hard.

At this point in our eating adventures, I am inclined to think that there must be something physically wrong with Wes that makes eating difficult. My guess is that it is something called dysphagia (because online reasearch has made me a doctor). The basic definition would be that he can't swallow effectively because he can't control the food with his mouth or tongue. It's also possible that his esophagus has narrowed in the area where his EA repair is. All past swallow studies haven't shown narrowing, but at the same time it hasn't been easy to get him to eat and sit still so the doctors could watch the barium go down his throat on an x-ray.

So the plan is to get an appointment with his surgeon as soon as possible and ask him to get us started on the process to taking care of these eating issues once and for all. We would really like to get this taken care of before we bring home his sister (which is taking longer than I had hoped, of course). Please pray for all of us during this time...and especially at dinner time.

Sorry this post is such a downer...I promise to write a happy one next time :)

how time flies

How does the time get away like it does? Here in Ohio it has pretty much been raining for 40 days and 40 nights...not really, but it is beginning to feel like that. Wesley desperately wants to play outside (Damon and I also want him to), but it is going to take a long time for our back yard to dry out! I keep trying to put off the drainage issues in our backyard (so far I've stalled Damon for two years), but when it rains at more than a sprinkle, I'm reminded of why we need to deal with the issue. Somehow ignoring it isn't making the issue go away. Who would've guessed that? (I can already see Damon smirking at this paragraph...)

My ankle is feeling MUCH better! I am working out again, but so far, I haven't been running. The orthopedic surgeon I went to stated that I should bike for a while before getting into running again. I signed up to run the the Air Force Half Marathon in September though, so pretty soon I'll have to take the plunge and get running again. Turns out that I had five stress fractures in my heel and all the ligaments were severely inflamed. NO idea how  I did that much damage just running on an indoor track, so I'm not sure that I could prevent future damage. Except maybe for me not to run anymore...we'll consider after the half marathon.

We're currently still waiting with the adoption...feels like the waiting never ends. We got an email today from our agency stating that accreditation for agencies has been delayed due to political elections. No idea how long this will hold up adoptions in Moldova, but I jsut have to remember that it will all happen in God's time. The current delays aren't a surprise to him and they don't mess up our adoption plans (even though it can feel like that to us). I remember how depressed I was when some political upheaval in Ukraine delayed our adoption about 10 months from when we thought we would travel. I felt like everything was messed up and it wouldn't work out, but what do you know...our son just became available for adoption the day we saw his picture. Nothing was messed up at all.

Damon's boss graciously gave us his personal tickets to a Cincinnati Red's game in April, so Wesley got to attend his first real baseball game.  

Want Mom and Dad to get you a baseball at the baseball game? Nope, I'll take a stuffed dog thanks.

I think the game overwhelmed him a bit because there was so much to watch and see. When a Reds player hit a home run, they let off fireworks. After that, Wesley kept asking us when they would do it again. It didn't happen though.

Doda and Pawpaw got Wesley his first pair of binoculars in his Easter basket, and boy was he excited! He wears those things around his neck pretty much every day.

looking through his Easter eggs and gathering all the money (he doesn't like candy, so the eggs had money in them. Sure wish I'd caught onto that racket when I was younger.Naw...I loved candy too much!)

here's a wreath I made out of book pages  (after the cast came off my ankle, I did everything domestic I could think of)

Wesley preferred eating the peanut shell versus the peanut at Five Guys Burgers and Fries. We had to stop him thought because it was just too gross.

with Doda and Pawpaw for Pawpaw's birthday (notice how Dad and Wes have the same serious facial expression)

Wesley's first soccer practice

playing goalie in his first game

Wesley's lack of fear worked out pretty well when he was in the goal (it didn't seem to phase him that 4-5 year-olds were kicking toward his face)  

a traditional soccer pose (he sure does love his mom taking so many pictures)  

"reading" the program to his dog after the Antioch Shrine Circus was in Dayton. This was Wesley's first circus, and he just couldn't get enough of the animals. The acrobats and such didn't interest him much, but as soon as he spotted an animal he got excited.

(Staci side note: obviously I haven't been to a circus since I was much younger, I didn't realize how cruel they can be to the animals! The tigers above kept snarling at the trainer and it hurt me to watch. So if Wesley never wants to go to a circus again, it's fine by me!)

Damon and I had a night out, and we went to downtown Cincinnati and had dinner in the hood at Terry's Turf Club. From the outside this place looked like an antique yard sale gone bad and inside was lit by neon lights. The burgers were HUGE and greasy. Everyone raves about this place, but personally it was too greasy for me. I loved the atmosphere though! We had to wait about an hour to sit in a cramped restaurant at a table with two people we'd never met, but it was a fun date night.

LM&M Railroad in Lebanon had a few weekends where you could ride the train and visit with Curious George. Due to the fact that George is #1 in this house (or at least tied with WordWorld), we had to go. Unfortunately there isn't a picture with the "Man with the Yellow Hat" (George's owner)...when I pointed out the "Man," Wesley's response was "that isn't a man, it's a girl!" Sure enough, the "Man with the Yellow Hat" was actually a woman, so we didn't take a picture for fear of confusing an easily confused kid. I have to say though that I am proud of Wes - I remember that for a long time I was concerned that Wes would never be able to tell the difference between a man and a woman!

I know I have more to say, but it's almost Friday at this point and my brain is fried...